2006年4月11日凌晨，美国饶舌歌手Proof在底特律一家俱乐部被保安枪杀。他最好的朋友，饶舌界天王——阿姆（Eminem）听到消息后悲痛欲绝。Proof和阿姆的关系亦师亦友，他把阿姆带到饶舌舞台，更在他最低潮的时候，施以援手。当Proof看到阿姆脚上穿着他妈妈从旧货店买的便鞋的时候，说“你他妈穿的是什么东西？”然后递给阿姆一双几乎全新的耐克球鞋。阿姆回忆，那个时候他想哭。所以，当Proof去世的时候，阿姆承受的痛苦远比外界想的要多。

直到两年以后，2008年10月，阿姆亲自撰写和编辑的自传图册《Eminem: The Way I Am》（这本书也很有意思，后面我会介绍）出版，他在开篇亲自撰写了1100多字的祷文，纪念Proof。之所以选择这篇文章，是因为阿姆没有使用任何煽情的词汇，全文无技巧的平铺直叙。但字里行间，你却可以直接感受到他的痛苦。这种赤裸裸的展现内心，对于一个男人，对于一个饶舌歌手，对于一名巨星，都是涅槃般的重生。

当我尝试了翻译这篇文章，怎么也找不到原文的“味道”。所以决定还是摘录原文，阿姆用词简单、结构简洁，阅读无压力：

I can't even bring myself back to the place I was when I heard what happened to Proof. I have never felt so much pain in my life. It's pain that is with me to this day. A pain that has become a part of who I am.

I got in my car at 7 o'clock in the morning to go see Proof in the hospital, and he was just laid out. It was the worst day of my life. I just remember thinking, NOT PROOF, NOT PROOF, NOT PROOF.

Proof was kind of my rock, you know? His death brought me to my knees. I've had death in my family before - two of my uncles committed suicide-and it took chunks out of my life then. Everybody's got somebody they've lost in their life who was everything to them.

I wasn't at that club when Proof got shot, but I gather that the incident was a total misunderstanding that got blown way out of proportion. I try to stay away from places like that, but Proof was a real regular dude. He hung out in the 'hood even after all of his success, and that kind of success in any 'hood can lead to jealousy problems. I wish the fight would have stopped with just fists. But it escalated, and Proof took the hit.

Proof had a very strong personality. He wasn't one to back down. If you pushed the wrong button, something could go off in him. Still, he was a funny dude who wasn't gangsta all the time. He had a silly side, like all of us in D12 do.

So although Proof had this dual personality, what I remember most is his kindness. This is the dude who, when I was broke as fuck, came by my house and made me get rid of the thrift-store loafers my mother had bought me. We’re both size 10. He came over to the crib and was like, “What the fuck is on your feet?” Then he handed over a pair of Nikes that were pretty much brand new. It was one of those moments where I wanted to cry.

Just like all friends do, Proof and I went through our up and down phases. On the road we’d be with each other 24/7, and when we’d get back to The D, we would take time off. Because, you know, I can be an annoying motherfucker just like everybody else. If I didn’t see him for a while we would at least talk on the phone a couple times a week. We’d both become family men, too, and we’d be busy with our kids.

After he passed, it was a year before I could really do anything normally again. It was tough for me to even get out of bed, and I had days when I couldn’t walk, let alone write a rhyme. When I tried to put my thoughts together – well, I wasn’t making sense when I spoke, so everyone was trying to keep me off TV and away from the press. My brain was scattered, especially for the first couple of months after his death.

It’s been only two years and change now since he left, so it’s still a tough thing to deal with. Now, when I think about touring, I wonder who’s going to come onstage with me. This is the biggest tragedy I could imagine, aside from something happening to one of my kids.

Proof played the fall guy in the video for “Like Toy Soldiers.” The guy shot and in the hospital. The point I was trying to make with that video was that rappers get into beefs, but it’s really the opposing camps – the entourages – who wind up getting hurt. Not too long after that, it unfortunately became reality.

In the year after he died, I would stare at the ceiling and think about that video. Did karma cause that to happen in real life? Did I? You always want to point the finger at somebody else when something like that happens, you know?

Proof was the key to my whole game. He was the only reason I stopped getting my ass whipped. I’m not going to sugarcoat it – he was my ghetto pass. I don’t know if anybody realizes it; that’s why I’m saying it now. He didn’t give a fuck about being called an Uncle Tom for being down with me. He stuck up for me like we were literally brothers. Before I was famous, before I had anything, really, Kim and I were living in her mom’s attic because we had nowhere else to go. If Proof hadn’t gotten me out of there, if he hadn’t gotten me down to The Hip Hop Shop and into the rap game, I don’t know where I’d be. I certainly wouldn’t be somebody you’ve heard of.

He was a brilliant cat who saw things in me that I didn’t see yet, and I guess I was smart enough to understand that he was the dude who could somehow save my life. I had been drowning for so long. Proof was like a hip-hop life raft and a true brother from another mother. He had this ability do not only nurture my talent, but to see that diamond in the rough when a million people could be looking at the same thing and just not see it.

It’s not like Proof didn’t have plenty of his own talent to deal with. Proof was a hip-hop dude nobody could fuck with. Freestyling, battling-nobody could fuck with him. Nobody.

He used to come with us on the radio-Friday nights were open mic in Detroit. This is when I was with my first group, called Bassmint Productions. We had a song with Proof we were performing on air, and Proof hadn’t learned his verse by heart yet. He only remembered his first four lines, and then he just started freestyling. You couldn’t even tell that he fucked up because he was so good at it. That was Proof’s God-given gift, to be able to freestyle like that.

Proof controlled the entire Motor City rap music scene in the mid- to late- ‘90s. He was that dude with dreads from Detroit who knew everybody. And everybody swore that he was going to be the first solo rapper to really make it out of Detroit.

I remember seeing Treach and Vinnie from Naughty by Nature at his funeral. I thanked them for coming out, but in hindsight I realized, Wow, why did I thank them? They were there for him – not me. Everyone was.

I was looking at it like, this was my best friend, so some people were there to support me in my loss. But he obviously had his own deep connections and relationships. People liked him-loved him. So I lost my best friend, but I guarantee you there’s a million people who would say, “Yeah, well, Proof was my best friend too.”

But with Proof and me, it was a mutual feeling. That’s why I say, “That was my best friend; I was his best friend.”

阿姆的文字和上一篇摘录杨绛先生的《我们仨》形成了强烈的对比，中西方文化、男性和女性，间接和直接，表达情感的区别不言而喻。